The Girl Who Gave Me the Moon
“Maybe this has something to do with the reciprocity of motherhood. That as mothers, we want to give to our child what we wish we never lost in childhood.”
Typically when reading someone’s palm, I’ll notice changes in the path or the depth of their lines. Something new to my practice is noticing the way a person’s Mounts change. In Palmistry terms, your Mounts are the raised areas (or lower areas if they are more of a valley) on your hand underneath each finger and along the side (percussion) of the palm. It all started with my own hands after comparing them to my daughter’s week by week.
A Lunarian from the very first breath, Aster is amazed by the world, getting lost like most babies in the textures of tree bark and sounds of birds. As babies, our hands are growing and changing at impressive speeds, but some personality traits just don’t really change. I’ve read the hands of very serious little babies.
“What am I going to do with a Lunarian?” I thought. “A Capricorn Moon Lunarian.” While we’re both Capricorn Moons, deep in thought about each feeling and grinding through work to sort through it all, I never considered myself to have the dreamy qualities of a Lunarian. I had always wished and hoped because that was the me I remembered as a child. I was always getting lost in books, in fantasy playground games, in the archaeological listings of encyclopedias. Whenever I would read for a Lunarian, I admit to jealousy and would wish to live a day in their life to understand that thought process more.
As my hands lost their post partum swelling, I would notice changes in my hand like the depth of my lines and the coloration and texture of my skin. All of this normal with all of the bodily fluctuations that come with the gift of birth. I expected maybe some stress to show on my hand due to the lack of sleep or constant change in everyday rhythms, but I never expected that the journey post partum sent me on, which felt like literally climbing a mountain, did in fact give me a mountain! On my birthday I had finally arrived in a new era - Luna. I made it after a long time of wishing and dreaming. I had made it home. My little star gave me the Moon.
Maybe this has something to do with the reciprocity of motherhood. That as mothers, we want to give to our child what we wish we never lost in childhood. Growing this person and spending every day with her has taught me to find the childlike wonder of those simple every day moments again. Sure, as two Capricorn Moons we are grinding away at trying new foods and learning how to roll, but that doesn’t stop us from dreaming (and currently screaming).
Here I am, feeling really lost in my new role as mother. I’m sure every new mom goes through this in their own way and if you are reading this and going through the same, I am here for you across the waves of the Internet. At the same time, getting lost gave me permission to let my mind wander off and imagine the distant worlds that live in the vibrations of new syllables against baby cheeks and the creaminess of a puréed sweet potato. Let dormant imaginary worlds rebloom.
